a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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