When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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