no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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