Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
