I like my sex mixed with concussions.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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