Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize
