My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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