Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
