I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
