So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
