Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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