Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'm always down for nudity.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
