Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
