Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

i don't like sucking hair

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(517): View more from Michigan

I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

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(925): View more from California

"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

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(818): View more from California

thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)

(661): View more from California

should have blown me.

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You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i got excepted to unl lol

(402): View more from Nebraska

You mean "accepted".

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".

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(386): View more from Florida

correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.

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