we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
