Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Why did you take off so early

  (224): View more from Illinois

  No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.

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  (847): Why did you take off so early (224): No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know. http://tfl.nu/xucj
  Replies (7) Good night (4615) Bad night (541)
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  (714): View more from California

  I would go down on you faster than GM stock

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  (714): I would go down on you faster than GM stock http://tfl.nu/ai9f
  Replies (32) Good night (7778) Bad night (755)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.

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  (214): Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again. http://tfl.nu/1vav
  Replies (12) Good night (4476) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.

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  (865): You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce. http://tfl.nu/u88l
  Replies (15) Good night (5717) Bad night (618)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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  (506): I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why. http://tfl.nu/rcz3
  Replies (18) Good night (4985) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?

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  (480): He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere. (602): Why would he say turtle mid-fuck? http://tfl.nu/okxi
  Replies (17) Good night (5817) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool

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  (339): he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool http://tfl.nu/n767
  Replies (5) Good night (2267) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot

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  (630): i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot http://tfl.nu/y6a1
  Replies (12) Good night (3470) Bad night (1036)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'

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  (306): I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes' http://tfl.nu/oxkp
  Replies (9) Good night (7864) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF

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  (519): someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF http://tfl.nu/7zg4
  Replies (20) Good night (3329) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.

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  (401): U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am. http://tfl.nu/s547
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.

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  (845): Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right. http://tfl.nu/xf55
  Replies (5) Good night (1029) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.

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  (434): I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories. http://tfl.nu/op72
  Replies (6) Good night (2210) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".

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  (360): You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes". http://tfl.nu/hqd9
  Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.

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  (703): I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot. http://tfl.nu/kon3
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (100)

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