im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes