Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.

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  (617): it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together. http://tfl.nu/iel6
  Replies (42) Good night (823) Bad night (3495)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.

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  (310): I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember. http://tfl.nu/e7ka
  Replies (14) Good night (3959) Bad night (1318)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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  (832): You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry http://tfl.nu/vuqf
  Replies (21) Good night (1963) Bad night (4705)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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  (905): was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree? http://tfl.nu/357c
  Replies (6) Good night (2032) Bad night (875)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke

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  (859): So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke http://tfl.nu/0mgq
  Replies (8) Good night (2327) Bad night (1321)
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  (415): View more from California

  get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing

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  (415): get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing http://tfl.nu/v8kn
  Replies (4) Good night (1235) Bad night (794)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.

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  (705): He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment. http://tfl.nu/68lb
  Replies (7) Good night (2027) Bad night (882)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce

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  (401): I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce http://tfl.nu/vjco
  Replies (15) Good night (932) Bad night (2082)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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  (785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge
  Replies (5) Good night (1718) Bad night (574)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.

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  (352): Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind. http://tfl.nu/tjuj
  Replies (4) Good night (1882) Bad night (548)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.

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  (540): He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room. http://tfl.nu/7y89
  Replies (3) Good night (1578) Bad night (401)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  May the force be with you.

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  (847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r
  Replies (4) Good night (1119) Bad night (367)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The student becomes the teacher.

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  (816): It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar. (314): The student becomes the teacher. http://tfl.nu/thu8
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (465)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.

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  (773): The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group. http://tfl.nu/wtka
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (313)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Of course I have a pirate flag

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  (630): Of course I have a pirate flag http://tfl.nu/t3eo
  Replies (4) Good night (769) Bad night (286)

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