I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
