just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
