420 ftw
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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