i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
