I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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