I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
