And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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