You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
