he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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