Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
