I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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