when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
