You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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