If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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