So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm always down for nudity.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
