This girl is more easily done than said...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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