Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
