U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
