Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
