Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
