i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
