How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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