Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
