if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
