there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He shit in the fireplace
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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