p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
