The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
