Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
