He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
