we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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