i don't like sucking hair
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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