The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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