I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
