You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
