I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize