I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
