just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
