Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
