This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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