I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
