she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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