the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
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just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A bitchslap is in order.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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