they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Randomize
