I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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