i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
