There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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