He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
