hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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